Just So You Know
by prettygirlxo
Summary: 3 years previous, Austin and Ally had a huge fight, ending their partnership. But now, forced to stay with Dez and Trish, they are faced with the past- as well as unresolved issues and unexplored feelings. Told from Austin's POV. "And suddenly, I couldn't breathe or think or move. That's what you do to me, Ally. And I'm not sure that this is a result of anger.. or something else."
1. Prologue

**70 mph**

I have to find her. I just have to. To tell her the reasons why I did what I did. Why I behaved the way I did. Why I said the things I said.

The windows are rolled down halfway, allowing the wind to blow through my hair and the cool Miami night air to keep me awake. Alert.

** 75 mph**

For the first time in my entire life, the radio is not on. I need to concentrate on the road ahead of me. On looking for her red SUV in the lanes surrounding mine.

My fingers tighten around the steering wheel, squeezing life back into them. The action is almost a reassurance to myself that this task is not impossible. That I could still find her before it's too late.

** 77 mph**

The black car in front of me is moving too slow. Don't they know this is a fucking freeway? I quickly switch lanes, my eyes roaming around for a sight of red.

I can feel my chest tightening in fear. If I can't find her… I can't even think of that.

I ease my foot on the gas pedal as the freeway takes on a slight bend to the right. The action causes the tightening to increase.

** 72 mph**

I run through my idiotic words in my head, cursing myself. Why had I said those things? And to her, nonetheless.

There was something about her, something that got right under my skin. I said things I didn't mean; did things I never would have done if she was someone else.

But I'm glad that she's not.

** 82 mph**

Buildings and businesses I've passed a billion times fly by my line of vision in a blur, their lights blurring any possible sight of her. I can breathe a little easier when I get past them.

The jeep to my left has their bass on high, blasting out a beat best suited for a club. It has nothing on my heart rate.

** 88 mph**

I can see my phone lighting up with messages from Dez and Trish out of the corner of my eye. I blatantly ignore it.

They can't stop me right now.

** 90 mph**

I bite down on my lip in concentration, and instantly regret it. I can still taste her lips and feel her kiss. My teeth release my lip and I shake my head. I need to focus.

A shiver runs down my spine, in spite of my best efforts.

Fuck, the effect she has on me…

** 94 mph**

My right foot starts tapping with anxiety and I don't force myself to stop it. I need to release the tension.

I need to find her.

** 100 mph**

Suddenly, far off in the distance, I notice a blur of red and my stomach flips. In nerves and excitement. In fear and relief.

My foot slams down on the gas and like a mad man, I swerve in and out of the lanes of traffic, trying to catch the red blur.


	2. 1

One Month Earlier

"C'mon, Dez. I'm bleeding out- come save me already," I grumbled, looking at the screen frantically and tapping my foot impatiently.

"I'm trying, but I'm stuck here. I have three guys on me," he said, his face a deep shade of red and his tongue in between his teeth in concentration.

Here we were, another night playing COD in Dez and Trish's living room at their apartment in downtown Miami. We were well aware that Trish would be home soon from work and we had promised that we would keep the apartment in the same state she had left it in almost seven hours previous.

But now there were plates strewn at our feet and pop cans lining the television unit. And yet we couldn't put down our controllers just yet.

"Here. Here I am. Here!" Dez screamed, and I refocused on the game. He saved me and we continued on like that until the session ended. "Good game!"

"I agree. But I think she's going to be home in like, ten minutes. I'll grab the cans, you grab the plates and-"

"-and you still won't have enough time to clear this mess up by the time I get home," came a familiar female voice behind me and I spun around in my chair, shocked.

"Trish, we were just going to clean up. I swear!" I scrambled to my feet to show her I was serious, but I caught sight of her familiar smirk and stood up straighter.

"I know how you guys get playing this stupid game. But I got off early and wanted to scare you," she bent down to pick up the rest of the cans, Dez just sitting stock still in his chair. "Dez, get up and help, please."

In no time, we had the dishes washed and dried, and the garbage and recycling taken out. Sitting back down in our chairs, I smiled over to Trish.

"Thanks again for letting me crash here. But, I won't be here long," I started, tapping my foot again. This had become a nervous habit lately.

"Austin, I've already told you that you can stay here as long as you need to, to get back on your feet. It's been a month, you've paid your share of the rent and half of the food. You're fine here," she sighed, picking a fuzz off of her waitressing uniform.

Trish worked full time at a coffee shop on campus at Miami University, where she attended business classes whenever she had the time. Dez went there as well, studying film history. With the money he earned off his paid internship with a well known Florida agency, both he and Trish had an apartment a couple of blocks from the school.

The two had been dating on and off for a couple of years. But even when they were off, they were still friendly. Since they had been forced to deal with each other over my music career, they had grown accustomed to the bickering and bitching. It was when this arguing ceased that their relationship went south. But, they loved each other too much to stay apart for too long, and loved me too much to drag me into any of their relationship trouble.

"Well, just know that I love you two for taking me in."

A couple of weeks previous, Cassidy and I broke up. Along with our personal relationship turning sour, our musical partnership turned even worse. Deep down, I knew things were just not going to work out- we didn't agree on lyrics or style. But our attraction was strong, and we compromised.

This compromise was what killed our relationship. We both gave up too much of what we individually wanted, and we ended up resenting each other for that.

When we broke up, it was ugly. There were things said that can never be taken back and furniture thrown that can never be repaired. Ever since, I have been unable to perform or write any music because I just don't know what I want anymore- what I really want, and what I think Cassidy wants have become blurred in my head and I cannot separate the two.

"I'm thinking pizza tonight," Dez said, fiddling with his video camera. The apartment was strewn with equipment and Trish didn't seem to mind this at all. Me on the other hand? I had to get used to having an obstacle course in order to getting to the washroom in the middle of the night from my makeshift bed on the futon in their living room.

"Sounds good," I said, although we had had pizza the last three nights and I really wanted something else. Thankfully, catching Trish's eye, I could tell that she agreed with me.

"I was actually thinking we could break free of Papa John's for one night and go out to get sushi."

My stomach instantly grumbled at the thought of sushi. Dez appeared to think this through, then he grinned.

"If we go out, then the sushi place is right next to a pizza place. Win- win, right?" he asked, standing up and into his shoes. I grabbed my keys off the coffee table, following the duo out the door.

"You're going to turn into a pizza," Trish laughed, flipping her hair and smiling lovingly up at him. It made my stomach clench to see them like this, knowing that I was no longer in a relationship.

"Are you coming with us, or are you going to take your own vehicle?" Dez asked, heading over to their shared white car. Trish slid in, turning up the CD she'd been playing before.

"I think I'm going to take my car," I answered truthfully, walking up to my prized possession- a black convertible. I'd saved up from performance money and album sales for my baby. Any chance I got, I drove her.

Dez gave me a knowing smile. I had been spending a lot of time with Dez and Trish since I'd moved in, but sometimes I just needed my space.

They both had jobs and school, but I had my music career. A career that seemed to be blowing up so fast when it first started, but had been very slow lately. Album sales were low from my second record and that meant less gigs.

Getting behind the wheel of my car, I instantly felt calm. Driving the streets of Miami was something that both excited me, and made me feel comfortable. There was nothing like the notion that I could, potentially, go anywhere. Complete freedom.

It was quite warm for an early summer night- the kind Miami usually sees in late August, not early June. My windows were down, my stomach was full of delicious sushi, and my radio was playing some old classic rock.

I'd told Dez and Trish that I would be out for a bit, but the truth was that I didn't have anybody to see and nowhere to go. Not to mention, my money was not going to be lasting me much longer. I needed to go back to the apartment.

But something kept me from that direction for just a moment, and as soon as my finger hit the indicator, I knew exactly where my car was leading me to.

Miami Mall was closed for the evening- it was after 11 after all- but the premises were not prohibited to the public. I parked my car on the far end of the parking lot and strolled through it slowly, allowing my mind to take me to places I hadn't explored in quite a while.

It didn't take too long until those memories and thoughts got to be too much, my heart feeling too heavy. I found my way back to my car in a matter of twenty minutes, and pointed my baby towards my new home. Twenty minutes was enough to get that out of my system- for now.

I knew something was wrong the moment the elevator stopped on Floor 5. I could hear Trish's voice, loud and clear in the hallway.

"Honey, talk to me. What's wrong? Speak to me!"

I ran to the apartment, fumbling with my keys to get them into the lock. What was going on?

"I can't understand what you're saying. Okay, repeat that again."

Falling into the apartment, I looked to Dez for answers.

"What's going on?" I asked, dropping my keys on the table and sitting down next to him on the couch. He shrugged, but his eyes held fear.

"She's been on the phone for about a half an hour. I don't know to whom, but whoever they are is freaking out over something and not making much sense about it."

We both sat there, immobile, on the couch while Trish paced around the apartment, through rooms and taking a lap around the living room and out onto the balcony, only to loop back around again.

"So, where did you go?" Dez asked, obviously trying to make conversation, but failing miserably. His eyes followed Trish around the room and his smile was tight. The entire situation was making me uncomfortable.

"I was just driving around," I lied. I didn't want Dez to know that I was dwelling on the past- I was always telling him to look forward and not back, and I didn't want to be considered a hypocrite. Even though I was one. "Maybe we should start up the game?" I asked, moving towards the game system.

Dez seemed relieved to have something to do to keep him occupied, and I couldn't agree more. But while the game was booting up, I overheard Trish say, "No way! She did not do that. Honey, you need to get out of there. Now!"

But once the game started, my attention went there. We got into the motions and zombie- like trance that takes us over when we're shooting at the enemies, completely oblivious to Trish's conversation.

"Dude, you almost shot me! Watch out," I said out of the corner of my mouth.

"Sorry, but I think I just saw Trish crying. Wait, I'm pausing the game," Dez said, stopping me mid- action while I was fighting a guy attacking me hard-core. But before I could complain, he shot out of his seat and flew into the kitchen, where Trish was slumped against the fridge, her back to me.

I picked up my cell phone and checked my messages. I had none. I had no Facebook notifications, no emails, no missed calls. I felt like I was isolated from the outside world; it was as if I had no friends.

Throwing my phone aside, I decided to take a breather out on the balcony. Trish and Dez had a nice setup out there- a couple of chairs and a bench. Sitting down in my favourite seat, I looked down at the Miami beach in the distance and smiled.

Miami was home. I had done much traveling for my job- I'd seen all of North America and most of Europe- but there was no place like home. And the beach was where I felt like myself the most, and this included being on stage.

There were many nights in high school where I found myself sitting on the sand, watching the moonlit water, and trying to make important decisions.

Some of those decisions are ones that I've regretted.

Coming back inside, I was greeted with Trish and Dez, standing in front of the television set, the game turned off, looking at me expectantly.

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light. Trish's eyes were red, but she was no longer crying. Dez's left hand was twitching at his side.

"I just got the worst phone call." Although she was no longer crying, Trish's voice still held the heaviness of emotion.

"Who was it?" I asked, sitting down on the couch beside them. They followed suit, sitting down across from me. Dez looked really anxious.

"Look, Austin. She's in a really bad place right now. Just like you were a couple of weeks ago, when you needed us. She's upset and feels like she can't trust anyone she's staying with, and she needs me," Trish started in, avoiding my gaze.

My stomach dropped. "Who?" I asked again.

"She called me in desperation and she doesn't know you're here. But I'm going to have her stay here for as long as she needs to. We're going to pick her up right now. You can come, or you can stay."

"Who?" I asked, my voice rising in frustration. But I already knew who. And they knew it too.

"Ally. We're going to pick up Ally and she's going to be staying with us for a little while."

And even though I knew it was her before they said her name, just the sound of it coming from Dez's lips caused my stomach to knot up and my palms to tingle.

"Okay," I got out, nodding. Except, I wasn't sure that it was…

**Never take a chance without you  
Dance without you  
Nothing is the same without you, baby**

_-Jesse McCartney, Without You_

a/n: I'm back! Sorry for anyone who was reading Blondie- something happened in my life and I could no longer bring myself to feel inspired enough to write it. Now that I think I'm past the life situation, I'm using this story to evaluate some life choices.. I hope you enjoy :)

-Kali xo.


	3. 2

My stomach is in knots on the drive to go pick up Ally. I'm not sure exactly where we're headed- I'm actually quite shocked when we leave the Miami city limits. I haven't spoken or heard from Ally in almost three years now and my heart still burns with regret at the way we left things. The prospect of seeing her again has me almost sick with nerves, which is added to the ball of worry in my gut.

Even though we weren't exactly friends anymore, didn't mean that it didn't kill me when I heard that she was in a terrible situation. This was, after all, my first musical partner and a girl I'd considered to be one of my best friends.

"Austin, are you sure you want to be here for this?" Trish asked for what felt like the millionth time since we'd left their apartment. I rolled my eyes. But the truth was, I wasn't sure what I was doing there.

"Yes," I lied, setting my jaw and looking out the window. My thoughts were racing- _Would she want to see me, especially in the state she was currently in? Would she hit me or curse me out? Would she ignore me? Would she hate me forever?_

Three years previous, right after my first album dropped, I made the decision to move to another musical partner, assuming Ally would be cool with me making my own artistic choices. Truth was, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time and I was just caught up with my attraction to Cassidy.

Everything was going perfectly fine- my album had been selling out nation wide, I had sold out a tour, Ally, Trish, Dez and I were at the highest point in our lives, and I was finally getting a knack for writing music.

But then my record label held a contest for a chance to duet with me- a contest I was fully behind. I mean, I knew exactly how hard it was to get recognized and I wanted to do anything I could possibly do to help out the people who were in a situation I knew only too well.

Cassidy won- I hadn't even known she had applied. We got set to sit down and write our song, and things escalated from there. I fell for her- hard. And she fell for me. My record label asked me if I wanted to write with her more often and, without even thinking of Ally, I said yes.

Before I knew it, Ally had been replaced with someone not only just as talented, but someone who was also interested in singing with me- something Ally would never, in a million and one years, have agreed to do. My infatuation with Cassidy clouded my judgement, and I ended up losing Ally in the end.

According to Trish, Ally had been broken up about my choice and decided to take that place at the music school in New York after all. She moved in with her mother, and only talked to Trish and Dez on the phone when she got the chance. She never once picked up the phone to call me. And, I couldn't really blame her.

I thought about all of the little moments in the past three years when I had wished Ally was by my side- when I finally got to play Times Square; when I opened for Young Money on a 13 country world tour; when I finished writing my very first song- all by myself. Watching the unfamiliar streets of an unknown Florida town fly by me, I cursed myself for that choice three years ago. What had I been thinking?

"How did she end up back in Florida?" I asked suddenly, realizing that I never got the message that she was back.

"She decided to move back here after she graduated," Trish explained, biting her fingernails and looking straight ahead of her.

"Graduated? Isn't she a little early for that?"

"Yes. She took summer classes and qualified to graduate a year early. So, she moved back down here with her mother a couple of months ago," Dez answered.

I sat back in my seat, shaking my head. That was Ally. She was smarter than anyone I knew and more determined than anyone else in the music business who I'd met. "A couple of months.." I whispered to myself.

Even though it sounded preposterous, I kind of felt like I should have known she was closer to me than New York. When I had played there a year and a half ago, I looked for her face in the crowd. I had been in the middle of singing 'Not a Love Song' when I felt this electrical current zip through my body and I just knew she was there. But I couldn't spot her. The effort of looking for her almost caused me to forget some of the lyrics.

The fact that she had been in the same state as me for a couple of months and I didn't even know caused me to get angry at myself, as if I could have psychic powers and just tell when she was close.

"It's the next right turn," Trish instructed Dez, and he nodded. I took a deep breath, clearing my head of my thoughts. I needed to brace myself for the worst. Ally had been willing to put the opportunity to go to a prestigious school on hold for me and my music career, and I dropped her for a hot blonde that only used me for my fame.

Pulling up the driveway, I felt myself start to sweat and my fingers start to tingle- something that always happened at the mere mention of Ally's name. This was something I never understood- why did this happen?

When Dez put the car in park and I saw a shadow in the door frame, my heart thumped against my ribcage and I took a deep breath. _Did she look the same? Act the same? Have the same passion for music?_

"I'm going in to talk to her for a second; we'll be right out," Trish whispered and I could sense the fear in her voice. I smiled reassuringly at her, but it seemed too forced, too tight.

When Trish had left, Dez turned in his seat and looked at me. "How are you holding up?"

"What do you mean?" I asked defensively.

"I mean, you're about to see Ally for the first time in like, three years. Are you okay?" Dez's eyes searched mine for something, and I ripped my gaze from his. He had always been good at reading me better than anybody and I was afraid to let him see what was really going on in my mind.

"Of course I am. By the sound of that phone call, I should not be the one you're worried about," I scoffed, looking out the windshield towards the outlines of Trish and Ally, still in the doorframe. _Had Trish told her I was in the car? Would that keep Ally from coming to stay with us for a while? What will she think of me?_

When the two figures started out the door and down the driveway, I started to panic. I had avoided this situation with Ally for three years for one main reason: She was the face of my biggest regret. And now, I had to deal with it.

"C'mon, honey. Let's get you into the vehicle. Oh, there's someone else in there, just so you know…" Trish started, but the figure beside her slumped onto the pavement with grief, sobs ripping from her body.

Before I knew what I was doing, I opened the car door and was picking her up off the ground, cradling her in my arms. It was what felt right.

"Ally, are you okay?" I asked her, my voice gentle and soothing.

She looked up at me then, her eyes rimmed with red from hours of crying and her nose running. She looked tiny and frail, completely broken by an act of mistrust and abuse.

But her eyes- they were alight with something that made her appear strong and alive. They were full of anger. And hatred. And disgust.

"Austin," she gritted out between her teeth, flinging herself away from me as she said it.

And instantly, before I knew it was happening, my world was crumbling.

To say that the ride back to Trish and Dez's apartment was uncomfortable would be an understatement- it was unbearable.

Still unable to stop the constant stream of tears falling down her cheeks, Ally had pushed herself against the door, as far away as possible from me, curling around her pillow and sobbing into it.

Whatever was wrong, I wanted to help. My fingers twitched as I struggled against my natural urge to reach across the seat and comfort her. But I respected her wishes to stay as far away as possible, plastering myself against my own door and looking out the window.

"Ally, sweetie, did you want to stop for anything on your way to our place? Do you need anything?" Trish asked from the front seat, turned halfway so that she could keep her eye on Ally the entire time. Her face was etched with worry. I smiled at her reassuringly; she was a good friend.

"No thanks," Ally whimpered out.

When we got back to the apartment, I went to the back of the car to help grab the bag Ally had packed. She met me back there and there was a beat of silence where we awkwardly stood by the door, waiting for the other to make a move first.

"Let me help you, Als," I begged, moving to grab the latch. She got there first though, and I moved my hand away before our skin made contact again.

"No. Go away."

Something inside me snapped then, and I stormed into the elevator waiting in the parking garage, not waiting for the others. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting as the lift brought me to the fifth floor, and grabbed my keys out of my pocket as I reached their door, number 507.

Before the others could get back into the apartment and start consoling Ally further, I locked myself into the spare bedroom- a room I hadn't even thought about using before. I sat down on the bed, with my back against the wall.

I could hear them come in, the apartment entrance and living room just on the other side of the wall. I brought my knees up to my chest and just sat there, listening to their conversation.

"Ally, what happened?" I could hear Dez ask. "Trish was too upset to talk about it."

"Here, honey. I know how much you like ice cream cake. This should make you feel a little better," Trish cooed, obviously giving Ally a bowl and spoon, if the clink of dishes was any indication.

"Thanks, Trish. Well, as I was telling Trish on the phone, I had moved out this way with my mother after I graduated. While we were living in New York, my mother and I fought a lot. But we both figured it was the normal mother-daughter fighting. I mean, most of my youth and teen years were spent with my dad, so I figured maybe I was making up for that."

There was a beat of silence, probably while Ally was eating some of her ice cream cake. I smiled to myself, despite my anger at the situation- Ally did love ice cream cake. It was the only way to calm her down when she was stressed and the only way to keep her from eating all of her hair before she took a test in high school.

"But when we moved back to Florida and I got to see my dad more often, things got even worse. I finally saw my mom for who she was: someone who hated my father and used me against him. It was why we always fought in New York- whenever I wanted to call him with good news; whenever he contacted me to come down for a holiday; anytime I spoke too highly of him as a parent. I just didn't clue in until last night, when I had spent the night at my dad's the night before and came home to my mom, who was fuming and throwing all of my stuff into garbage bags, ready for me to move out," she said, her voice breaking once again under the emotion of recalling the experience. My anger disappeared a little.

"I freaked out, asked her what her problem was. And then we went at it, all night and all day. I screamed at her when realization had dawned on me exactly what her issue was. I asked her if she even loved me at all, or if my three years in New York with her was just a prize- another thing to shove in my dad's face. She couldn't answer me. I called Trish after that. I can't go back there; I don't know what to say to her. But I can't move in with my dad because he got rid of our house and lives in a one bedroom apartment. I have nowhere to go," Ally cried out, turning to sobs quickly.

"Shhhh, shhhh. Don't be stupid, you have somewhere to go- you're here right now. You can stay here as long as you'd like to," Trish said, her voice muffled. She must have been cradling Ally in comfort.

"What was that?" asked Dez, laughing.

"Is he staying here too?" came Ally's voice, clearer now. She seemed to have calmed down, her voice steadier than it had been all night.

At the mention of me, my knees fell from my chest and I pressed my head even further into the wall.

"Yes, Austin's in a similar situation. He needs a place to stay. But, he'll be sleeping out here, on the futon. You've got the spare bedroom, where he seems to have escaped to for the time being," Dez explained, the amusement still in his voice. I rolled my eyes at him- Dez never understood just how bad it had gotten between the two of us and was always optimistic that we would become friends again.

"Well, thank you both. Even if the situation isn't ideal…"

_Ideal_? Who the hell did she think she was? I was here first! I know that what I had done all of those years ago was wrong, but grow up!

Before I knew what I was doing and where I was going, I grabbed my keys off the floor, where they had fallen, and walked out of the room.

Three pairs of eyes followed me as I grabbed a jacket and made a move to walk out the door.

"Where are you doing? It's the middle of the night!" Trish exclaimed, coming up to stand behind me.

"I'm going for a drive. I'll be back whenever I decide to come back," I muttered, needing to get out of there. I could feel Ally's eyes on me, following my every move. As much as I cared about her, I also didn't understand her at all. Three years had transformed her into someone bitter and not at all like the Ally I had known as a teenager.

**Let me be the one,  
Loving you when you're weak.  
For all of the strength you need,  
You can come to me.**

_-Jesse McCartney, Come to Me_

a/n: Thank you for all of the reviews :)

-Kali xo.


	4. 3

I'm startled awake the next morning by tapping on my windshield. When I pry my eyes open (which takes more work than I'd like to admit) I see two very disapproving looks from Dez and Trish. Dez makes a motion, indicating that he wants me to roll down my window. I do so.

"You slept in your car?" he asks, shaking his head. Trish is just staring at me as if I have three heads, not uttering a word.

"Yes, I got back late and was too tired to come up-" I start, but Dez cuts me off.

"Bullshit. You were too afraid to come up. You don't want to deal with this Ally situation. But guess what, Austin? She has something else she needs to be worrying about right now. So, leave it," he said, his eyes blazing.

I have only ever seen Dez angry once before- when he found out about what I'd done to Ally all those years ago. It took him a week to talk to me again, but he'd been as supportive of me as he could be- assuring me, however, that he would not stop being friends with Ally because of my dumbass decision.

So it surprises me that he has a tinge of the anger in his tone now. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the sleepiness.

"That's not it at all, man. I didn't want to wake everyone up at four in the morning. I knew you had to be up for your internship this morning and that Trish had an early class," I say, shrugging. I pull my chair back up to a sitting position and move to open the door.

Trish moves then, shutting it. I'm surprised by this action, looking up at her, appalled.

"What the hell, Trish!"

"Don't. Just, don't go back in there now. She finally fell asleep on the futon at like, three thirty in the morning. I don't want you going in there and waking her up and then getting into a fight. She needs peace today. Not a big blow up with you- which is what will happen," Trish explained.

I noticed the shadows under her eyes and the pink tinge on her cheeks, realizing that she hadn't slept at all last night. I nodded, not fighting her at all.

"Good. Well, we're heading out. I don't know where you're going to go, but leave her be for the day. Dez and I will be home at four thirty, so you can come back then. See you," Trish said, waving as she walked away.

"What she said," Dez said, not meeting my gaze. He followed Trish to their car, got in and drove off, leaving me sitting in my car, completely lost.

It took me a solid fifteen minutes of staring off into space before I realized that this whole situation was stupid and that I could sneak into the apartment, take a shower, fall asleep in the spare bedroom for a few hours, and then sneak back out. She would never even know.

Not even five minutes later, and I'm already regretting this stupid, idiotic plan. I am struggling to get my key in the lock without jiggling the other keys. And I'm struggling to control my heart rate because I'm sure that the people four floors above me can hear it.

When I finally do make it into the apartment, I am relieved to see that Ally is still sleeping. And then I pause for a second, frozen in place.

She is curled up on the futon- my futon- cuddling into my blanket, her head on my pillow, her mouth slightly open. She looks beautiful and it takes me a while to shake this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. But when I do, I move quickly into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I'm confused about the feeling I just got, looking at Ally asleep in the place where I currently should be, but I move past it. I missed her- that's all it is.

Undressing quickly, I jump into the shower and my shoulders sag under the relaxing hot water. I'm one of those people that need their water to be scalding- if my skin isn't red when I step out of the shower, then I just didn't have a good shower.

_Running water; hot steam_

_Thinking 'bout you; you're like a dream_

_Driving miles; traffic lights_

_Thinking 'bout you; I'm up all night_

The words come to me from out of nowhere, shocking me back into reality. I repeat them to myself over and over again as I wash my hair and body, sure that if I don't, I will lose them forever.

It's with these potential new lyrics in my head that I go about the rest of my routine, completely forgetting to keep quiet. I'm actually smiling, fatigue forgotten, when I step out from the bathroom, towel wrapped low on my hips, running smack dab into Ally.

"What are you doing?" she asks, her voice tired, but angry. I instantly stop repeating the words, and stand up straighter. I'm well aware of my lack of clothes.

"Taking a shower," I answer. She's avoiding my gaze, looking anywhere but at me.

"Well, that's obvious. But, what are you doing back here, in the middle of the day?" she asks, moving back into the living room. Without thinking, I follow her.

"I needed to shower and sleep. I didn't get much last night. I'm sorry if I woke you up… I was trying to be quiet," I mumble, running a hand through my soaking wet locks of hair.

Ally seems exhausted as she plops herself back down on the futon, wrapping herself in my blanket. The feeling in my stomach returns, but I ignore it.

"You didn't wake me up, don't worry. I had a nightmare. I was just shocked that you were here. I thought you might have work or something you'd be doing today. I was looking forward to being alone," she replied, her voice heavy with emotion again. I scrambled my brain for something to say, something that wouldn't set her off. I desperately wanted to talk to her, but I didn't want her upset. Trish was right: she'd been through enough the night before.

"I don't have a job. But I will leave you alone to your thoughts. I just have to change," I said, making to move towards the spare bedroom. But she made a sound, something between a cough and a groan, stopping me.

"No! Don't leave. Look, we both know that this isn't the best living situation. But, we'll need to make it work. You don't need to run off every time I'm in the apartment, and I shouldn't expect you to. You look tired- get some sleep," she said, sounding like she could get a couple more hours herself.

I nodded, smiled, and walked away. That was all I could think of to do.

After I'd changed and lay down on the bed, it was hard for me to fall asleep. I was tired- both my mind and body were ready for a long sleep. But I was very aware of Ally laying down, in my bed, right on the other side of the wall. And, for some reason, this made me antsy.

I must have fallen asleep eventually because when I woke up again, it was dark outside and there were sounds coming from the other side of the wall, other than Ally.

"Crap," I muttered to myself, not looking forward to heading out there and facing that wrath of the two headed monster- Dez and Trish. But, I manned-up and got out there.

"Hey, you're here!" Trish said, not at all as angry as I thought she would be. Not at all, actually.

"Yeah, I actually snuck back in here, after you said not to. But, I needed sleep. And I didn't disturb Ally- too much," I started, rambling. I accepted the plate of food Trish handed me. That's when I noticed that Ally wasn't there. "Wait- where's Ally?"

"She went out to the store, said she needed some stuff. I think she just got sick of Trish nagging at her about eating and asking if she was all right every other minute," Dez laughed, sitting down next to me on the couch and turning on the television.

Their behaviour was giving me whiplash: one moment, they were completely protective of Ally (which I fully understood) and telling me off about anything I said or did, or could be planning on saying or doing. The next, they were being friendly and nice, treating me as an equal and a non-traitor of the quad that I betrayed three years previous.

But I was going to take what I could. "This is excellent stir fry, Trish."

"Thanks. I know Ally loves it. Unfortunately, I think she's still too upset to eat. But, when was the last time we ate in?" Trish put a forkful in her mouth and chewed slowly.

Ally walked through the door then, carrying a couple of bags and breaking one in the process.

"Oh, here! Let me help you!" I jumped up, placing my plate on the table and running over to where she was bent down, scrambling to pick up the rolling apples from the ground.

"No, I got it. Austin, I said I got it!" she said, her voice stern. I rolled back on my heels, handing her the last apple. "Thanks, but I don't need your help. With anything."

I got the message loud and clear. But, I wasn't about to be mean and call her out on her bitchiness. Instead, I shrugged and took back my place on the couch next to Dez.

Ally set the stuff in the kitchen and made her way back into the spare bedroom.

"Austin!" she called, shocking the three of us in the living room.

"Yes?" I asked, placing my plate back down on the table and walking into the bedroom.

"Can you collect your crap, please? I'm tired and I'd like to sleep in a clean, neat bed. Not one that's covered in blankets and pillows that smell of you," she said, her arms crossed over her chest. I could feel the anger rising inside of me, but I breathed deep.

"Sure thing, Als."

"Stop calling me that," she groaned, leaning against the wall.

"Why, you didn't mind it before-"

"Before you ditched me for Cassidy? Before you decided that I was no longer good enough to be your business partner? Before, when I wrote the songs to get you to where you are?"

Her chest heaved in both frustration and another emotion that I couldn't quite place. My heart beat a little harder, pain settling itself into my own chest, right where it had sat when I saw her face when I broke the news to her three years ago.

"I'm sorry." The words came out without thought, but they seemed to hurt her further.

"I don't care, Austin. Just get your crap and get out of my bedroom," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

I did as she asked, not meeting her gaze and shutting the door behind me.

It was later that night, around one am, and I was sitting in the living room, listening to music and jotting down more lyrics. But I had nothing.

I couldn't sleep. I tried, wanting to get back on track, but failed. I couldn't lay here and sleep peacefully, knowing that Ally was probably on the other side of the wall, laying awake and upset.

My guitar sat in the corner, untouched for over a month now. My fingers itched to strum the strings, but I knew that picking it up and playing would result in waking the entire apartment. And I didn't want that.

"When was the last time you played that thing? It looks dusty," came a voice out of nowhere, causing me to jump out of my skin. I whipped my head to the sound, shocked to see Ally standing in the doorway. She had my blanket wrapped around her again, her legs bare beneath.

"It does, doesn't it?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation light and neutral. "I picked it up to move it there over a month ago. And before then? Weeks previous to that," I shrugged, scratching the back of my neck nervously.

"Why?" she asked, yawning and sitting down in the chair in front of the television. I leaned back on my couch, pulling my leg up to get more comfortable.

"I just have nothing to write on it. There's nothing left in me."

She looked at me then. I mean, really looked at me. Then she laughed.

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?" I asked, completely unable to wrap my head around this change in her attitude. Just like Trish and Dez, she was flip-flopping back and forth on me.

"You have plenty of talent in there, Austin. There's just something blocking your ability to write something. You're going through a phase where it's just harder than usual. You'll get over it, I'm sure," she said, smiling. Then, she seemed to realize what she was saying, and frowned.

"You think so?" I asked, my voice sounding uncertain.

"I guess it doesn't matter what I think. I mean, you seemed to be doing quite well without my help for the last couple of years," she said, getting up and walking away.

"You know, that's my blanket!" I whisper-yelled after her, frustrated that I kept getting these little snippets of my old Ally, but then she kept disappearing into thin air.

"Take it. I don't need it anymore," she muttered under her breath. She dropped it on her way back to her room, exposing her tee shirt pajamas- no bottoms. Something stirred deep within me, and I would have paid more attention to it, if her words hadn't resonated even deeper.

I had a feeling that she meant more than what she was saying. And that bugged me. An awful lot.

**I turn around you're there again  
And suddenly you're gone  
I wanna get to know you  
But I don't know who you are**

_-Jesse McCartney, What's Your Name?_

a/n: This was supposed to be posted last week, but internet has been shitty.

-Kali xo.

P.S. Can I get some birthday reviews? It's my birthday tomorrow :)


	5. 4

It had been a week or so since our last encounter that Ally and I had really had a conversation. Usually, we exchanged pleasantries, just to keep up appearances with Dez and Trish.

During the days, I went out and tried to get gigs at small venues, often failing. Because my last album had been a bust, I had been dropped by my record label. Cassidy, however, was blowing up the charts.

It seemed like everywhere I went, I heard her latest single, 'Not Missing You,' blaring over the loudspeakers. Only a small part of me was annoyed that the song was obviously about me and our relationship. Mostly, I was pissed that she was capitalizing over something that had torn me apart… not personally, but professionally.

Ally kept to herself, mostly. Her and Trish went out on the evenings Trish had free, doing things that girls do- going to the movies and out to coffee, gossiping on all they had to catch up on since Ally had left.

Dez and I made a ritual of taking drives out to the beach and sitting in silence. There was something under the surface of the words that were not said, but neither of us had the balls to mention it. It wasn't like our friendship had taken a hit or anything, but the reappearance of Ally just reminded us of my idiotic actions of the past and Dez's dislike of them.

I woke up one morning, after a particular late night out (I had finally landed a gig just outside of Miami), and was shocked to see Dez packing a bag.

"Where are you going?" I asked, panicking a little. Thoughts were running through my head like crazy, chastising myself for not bringing up the past. Maybe I could have said something…

"I have to travel for a couple of days with my internship position. I'll be back in about three days, probably Friday night. You need to keep the place up in my absence," he said, smirking. I could literally feel my heart rate slow back down.

"Sure thing, dad," I muttered, sitting back down on the futon.

"He's going to Orlando," Trish said with pride. They were very supportive of each other's careers; I admired that.

"What are we going to do while he's away? Throw a party? Trash the place? Skip town and leave him in our dust?" I asked, grinning up at my height-challenged friend.

"Oooh. Maybe I mixture of all three. I'm thinking, we leave him with the place trashed from our wicked party we throw," Trish laughed, throwing some snack foods into the side pockets on Dez's duffel bag.

"You guys are so funny. I was thinking that maybe you guys could lay low for a couple of days. I have some ideas that require energy and money for when I get back- it'd be best if you stuck to the apartment and the money saving tactics Trish and I were talking about last night-"

"Ugh! Don't discuss your pillow talk with me in the room!" I cringed, jokingly. Trish laughed harder.

"Dude, you're in a good mood," Dez observed, zipping up the bag and sitting down, checking his watch.

"I played last night, bro. You know how that makes me feel," I shrugged, picking lint off of my sweatpants.

"Feeling good enough to write?" Dez asked, gently. He knew this was a touchy subject, but I understood his curiosity.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm going to try this afternoon. I would love some new material for next week's gig."

"Next week's gig?" Trish asked from the kitchen, where she went to go fetch some more snacks- Dez liked to eat.

"Yeah, they liked my set so much, they're making it a weekly thing. But, I don't want to play the same songs every time I walk in there. On the drive home, I was thinking of some good covers. But I can't just switch it up with covers. I need a new song," I said, rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably.

"I'm sure that, until you come up with a new song, the covers will do well enough. And you know that once you write one song, a million will pour out of you," Trish tried reassuring me. She was right, I knew that. But my self-doubt was getting in the way of believing her.

"What are we all congregated in here for?" Ally asked, coming out from her bedroom and yawning.

"Dez is going to work in Orlando for a couple of days. And Austin has a weekly gig at a place just outside of town," Trish said, handing Dez a couple of bananas.

"Oh, cool," she said, smiling at Dez. She gave no notice of me at all. And, even though it was like this for over a week now, it still stung.

"Wanna watch movies all night?" Trish asked, lying on the couch with an arm draped over her face.

"Don't you need to wake up early for school or work?" I asked, absentmindedly strumming on my guitar. I had been doing this for well over two hours, but I came up with nothing. I had some lyrics though:

_It's hard to breathe; hard to fight_

_It's hard to go to sleep at night._

_When I think about your face_

_And about what I'd like to erase._

_I cannot scream; I cannot see_

_I cannot fathom why you'd flee._

_When I think about it now_

_All I ask myself is how_

_How can I be here without you?_

_How can I live on without you?_

_How can I; How can I?_

_How can you just leave like that?_

_How can you just not give a crap?_

_How can I; How can I?_

_How can I live on without you?_

It was more than I'd done in a long while, so I wasn't complaining. I just wished I could have something more. Music, a melody. Anything, really to make it a song rather than words.

"I don't have to work tomorrow. And class is cancelled because of an outbreak of the flu among the student body," Trish replied, her voice breaking me out of my trance. I nodded, even though she couldn't see me.

"So, movies it is," Ally said, coming to sit on the couch at Trish's feet. She must have been listening from her room, where she'd locked herself for the evening up until this point.

"What should we start with?" Trish asked, sitting up. Her eyes looked tired and I wondered if she was going to make it through even one movie. But I could tell exactly what she was doing- she didn't want to leave Ally and I to our own devices.

"Austin can pick," Ally said, looking over at me. Acknowledgement of my presence shocked me into silence, but I recovered quickly.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled out, moving towards the DVD case Trish and Dez kept. "Any preferences?" I asked, flipping through the mountainous amounts of movies- Dez was a huge film buff.

"Nothing too dramatic. I say we keep this evening light," Trish said. "I'm going to make some homemade pizzas. What toppings do you guys like- NO PEPPORONI!" She made her way into the kitchen and I could hear her going through the cabinets.

"Extra cheese!" Ally and I said, at the same time. We looked at each other, and even though she looked away fast, I could see the hint of a smile on her face.

Suddenly, I found a movie that I hadn't seen in a while and really wanted to watch again. It wasn't applying to Trish's rules of 'keeping it light,' but Ally had let me choose the movie, and I'd made my choice.

Before anyone could see what I'd chosen and Trish could stop me, I popped it into the DVD player. When she came back into the living room and saw the disk menu on the screen, she wasn't as upset as I thought she'd be.

"I love this movie!" she squealed, getting cozy on the couch with Ally, who had located a blanket somewhere in a closet and wrapped it around the both of them.

The Last Song started, and we all sat there, enraptured. The only pause we had was when the pizzas were done and Trish dished them out.

The girls cried in the appropriate places- whenever the little brother cried, when the dad died, when the song, "When I Look At You," played at the very end. I sat there, my heart beating heavily against my ribs. I knew, when that song played, that that would be one of my covers.

"Good movie!" Trish said, drying up the last of her tears and smiling at me.

"Agreed. Holy crap, only Nicholas Sparks can make me cry like that," Ally said, shrugging off the blanket and collecting to dishes.

"Here, let me help you with that," I said, grabbing my own and our glasses.

"Thanks," she whispered. I could see that she still had tears in her eyes, and I looked away quickly. I wasn't sure if she would want me to see her crying still. And I was sure that the movie made her think about her relationship with her mother. And that had to hurt.

"You pick the next movie," I said to her, placing the dishes gently into the sink and walking with her back into the living room.

"Okay, I have something in mind anyways," she said, grabbing the DVD case and flipping through.

"Ally's turn?" Trish asked, yawning and stretching on the couch. She was really getting tired.

"Yeah, I've got one," she announced, hopping off the couch and replacing The Last Song with her own movie- Superbad.

"Awwww, yeah!" I said, snapping. "Good choice," I grinned at her, my focus going immediately back to the television.

About a quarter of the way through the movie, Trish fell asleep, hogging the blankets Ally went searching for. Even though it was summer and supposed to be warm, the temperature had dropped quite drastically and Ally sat there shivering.

"I have a blanket over here," I whispered over the coffee table separating her couch and my futon. I could see the struggle on her face- shiver through the movie, or have to sit close to me.

Finally, her shivering got the best of her and she slowly made her way over to me.

Her close proximity kept me from placing one hundred percent attention on the movie- even my favourite parts. It'd been three years since we had sat this close for so long.

My mind went back to our days in the practice room, sitting side by side at the piano, getting out a song that was in need for the next day. It didn't take Ally and I a couple of months to write a song, like it did me. We could bust one out in a matter of a couple of hours, if we were inspired and feeling creative. I missed those days.

Suddenly, the weight of Ally next to me was heavier, and I looked down to see her snoozing against my side. In her sleep her inhibitions were lowered and she snuggled up close to me, her chin resting on my shoulder.

I had trouble breathing, and I could no longer see the television set just a few feet in front of me. The only thing I was aware of was her.

When the movie ended, I didn't move- I was afraid to. If I moved, she would wake up. And then she would be angry that I didn't wake her; that I allowed her to lean on me and sleep.

"She fall asleep too?" came Trish's voice from across the coffee table. I almost jumped out of my skin, but kept still- for Ally's sake.

"Yes," I whispered. Trish smiled, her eyes still full of sleep.

"You look cozy," she teased, getting up and wrapping the blanket around her.

"Shut up," I mumbled, feeling my face reddening.

"Hey, I'm not saying a word," she said, still grinning.

"You don't need to," I laughed. I could tell exactly what she was thinking.

I tried to figure out what exactly I was supposed to do to sleep. Taking a deep breath, I shifted us so that I lay down on my back and she toppled on her belly, off to my side, on top of me. With the hand that was not wrapped around her in an effort to keep her asleep and in place, I reached down and pulled the blankets up to our chests.

I figured that it would take a long while for me to fall asleep in that position- I mean, I had wanted Ally by my side for well over two years now. And now I had her- quite literally, by my side. It must have been that comfort that lulled me into a deep sleep.

**Still can't believe  
Her hold on me  
She's just so indescribable**

_-Jesse McCartney, Tell Her_

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted- I'm a university student and just had Hell Week (midterms and papers and reading responses and essay proposals and seminars). I needed a week to prepare and a week to do. But, I'm back! So expect a new chapter twice a week :)

-Kali xo.

P.S. Thanks for all the birthday wishes- they were lovely!


	6. 5

It wasn't the sunlight or a loud noise that woke me up in the morning, but this sense of calm and ease that I had become unfamiliar with in the past couple of months. This calm shocked me awake and I found myself lying on the futon in Trish and Dez's living room, as I had done many times before. But this time was different.

I looked down at the petite brunette in my arms and smiled to myself. That familiar tugging in my gut reappeared at just the knowledge that she was so close, and I think I recognized it now- attraction. I almost snorted in disbelief. Of course I was attracted to Ally- I always had been. I'd kept it to myself, for the most part. But it'd always been there.

What was so different about now though? Longing? Deep desire? Something more?

It was as I was contemplating this that Ally stirred on top of me, bringing me back to the here and now, and setting my heart rate insane. I took a deep breath and tried to brace myself for the inevitable.

Sure enough, she woke up with a start, immediately pulling herself away from me. "Wh-what?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep and her eyes still adjusting to the light. "What's going on here?"

"You fell asleep leaning on me last night. I didn't want to wake you up, Als. I'm sorry, I know that I should have moved you. But, I wasn't thinking straight. I was tired too, and I'm not going to lie to you- having you leaning on me felt nice and-" I startled rambling, tugging on my hair and pulling my knees up to my chest defensively. I was afraid to look up into her eyes, but I knew that I had to. I needed to know how she was feeling.

She didn't look angry or murderous- as I had expected. Instead she just looked confused and sad. She held up a hand, and I took it as a signal to be quiet.

"You should have moved me. But, believe it or not, I'm not angry that you didn't. I don't know why I'm not, but I can't bring myself to fight you on this one. Maybe it's because I slept so well," she shrugged and taking to the blanket with her, she got up and went to her own bedroom.

I was reeling. I didn't know what to say. She wasn't angry. She had a good sleep. What did that mean? Was there a chance that she would want to sleep like that, with me, again?

I lay back down, threw my arm over my eyes, and thought for a long time about this, thought about the ifs and the whys and the possibilities. And I was aware that I hadn't thought about these things for a long while. And that maybe that's what I had been missing.

"You gonna lay there all day, contemplating life, or are you going to help me make brunch?" Trish asked from above me. I removed my hand and smiled up at her.

"French toast?" I asked, already sitting up. She nodded and I followed her into the kitchen, grabbing the butter and milk and eggs out of the fridge.

"So, did you sleep well?" Trish asked, busying herself with the bread. But I could tell by the tone of her voice that she meant something more than she was letting on.

"I slept really well; best I've slept in a long time, actually," I answered, honestly.

"Yeah? That's good. And what about Ally? How did she sleep?" she inquired, mixing the French toast dip, adding a couple of spices that made it her own. I leaned on the counter, thinking before I spoke.

"How has she been sleeping lately? I mean, before last night?"

"Terrible, actually. She barely gets in an hour before she wakes up, sobbing. Or her thoughts keep her from falling asleep at all. I think she's confused about a lot of things. Unfortunately, you're one of them. But," and at this, Trish's voice went from sombre to amused, "I did not hear any yelling this morning, so I take that as a good sign!"

I couldn't help but smile at this.

"My only question is- why?" Trish asked, turning on the pan, and letting it heat up, our french toast soaking it the container she'd set aside with her mixture.

"I honestly don't know. I think I just really missed her," I shrugged, digging some orange juice out of the fridge and pouring some into two glasses.

"Well, that was your own fault-" Trish started, but I cut her off.

"In these three years, I have said time and time again that I made a mistake. You know that, Trish. I made the biggest mistake of my life, letting her get away. And, up until this point- last night, actually- I thought it was a professional mistake. But now? I'm not so sure that's it."

Trish looked at me then as if I was an idiot. "No shit, Austin!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, sipping my juice and scoffing at her over my glass.

"You and Ally were going places- and not just professionally, as you said. You two have this insane connection. You click in this way that is out of this world. And then you went and fucked up the one biggest connection you two had- your music. And she was obviously hurt by that. I mean, she gave up that school in New York to be with us- with you- here in Miami, working on your career. And you turn around, and less than six months later, you choose a new partner, just because she's pretty and sings? How do you think she feels about that?" Trish asked, throwing the first two french toast slabs in the frying pan.

"She obviously feels hurt. I know that. Her hurt and my guilt and regret are probably on the same level, okay? And now I have to fix things. But, Trish, people make mistakes. And I'm trying to fix mine," I said, my eyes on hers. I could feel the emotion in my voice, and Trish must have heard it, because she just nodded.

"Okay," she squeaked.

"Waking up with her in my arms was amazing. I slept so well too- better than I have in a long while. And I'm sure that it was her. Want to know what she said to me when she woke up?" I asked, flipping over the french toast, because Trish was drawn by my words and obviously not paying attention.

She nodded, so I took a deep breath and went on, "She said that she wasn't fighting me on it, because she slept well too. I seemed to be some sort of comfort for her. And if I can be that for her, maybe that will be my way to make up for some of the hurt I've caused her in the past. I've changed, Trish. You know that. The way Cassidy treated me and the way we ended- that broke me. And so, I've changed. And I'd like to think that it was for the better," I rubbed the back of my neck, uncomfortable.

"Austin, you have changed! You're a better man, and you put others before yourself. Your career is still a huge priority, but now your friends come first. And if you were faced with that same choice from three years ago, I have no doubt that you would choose Ally over Cassidy. No doubt! And I will be behind you in your quest to win Ally's friendship- or possibly more- from this point forward. No questions asked," she said, taking my hand. I smiled down at her, moved by her words.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Now, let's finish this french toast!" I announced, trying to lighten to mood in that small space.

"Okay!" Trish laughed, wiping unshed tears from her eyes, and switching the finished french toast with unfinished ones.

We worked as a team, side by side, getting the brunch ready. I fried some bacon and set the little table in the dining area (really just the walking space from the living room to the kitchen) with places for three. I filled another glass with orange juice, adding ice because I remembered that that was how Ally liked it, and went to get her.

I knocked gently on her door, unsure of how to proceed. "Ally?" I asked softly.

"Yes?" came her voice from the opposite side. It sounded almost like she was right against the door.

"Food is ready. Come and get some," I replied, walking away. I was nervous for some reason, and didn't want to have to make the walk all the way to our table right beside her.

"We made french toast!" Trish announced, pointing to the food on the table. My mouth instantly began to water.

"Smells amazing," she said, grabbing the seat with the proper drink and smiling up at me appreciatively. I don't know how she knew it was me, but she seemed to know.

We decided as a group to drive around for a little while that afternoon and soak up the Miami sunshine. We stopped at a little market place by the beach and I bought the girls some friendship bracelets for a dollar. We chit chatted and ate ice cream and had a nice afternoon- no fighting or tension.

This all changed when we got back to the apartment. We were barely in the door when Ally's cell phone rang. Her face fell as soon as she read the screen, but she took a deep breath and answered it.

"Hey, mom," she said, taking her phone out to the balcony and shutting the door behind her.

"Crap! That woman just never learns," Trish sighed, sitting down on the couch and watching Ally's back through the window.

"Maybe we should give her some privacy," I suggested, grabbing some shampoo and soap and heading into the bathroom for a shower.

"No, I need to know how I need to respond when she comes in. It's best if I gauge her reaction before she hangs up. Then I'll be ready," she said, shaking her head.

I took my time in the shower, washing off the sand from my feet and legs and the remaining grains that had blown into my hair from the wind. I could hear muffled voices from outside of the washroom, so I stayed in even past the hot water ran out.

When I did dry off and leave the washroom, the apartment was eerily silent.

"Hello?" I called out, dripping water into the hallway.

"Hey," Ally's voice came from her bedroom. I tightened the towel around my waist and walked towards her voice.

"Are you okay?" I asked, noticing the redness around her eyes. I sat down on the edge of her bed and she scooted a little further away from me. This tore at my insides.

"I will be. Trish has got it all taken care of," Ally sniffled, hugging tighter still to the pillow in her arms.

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked, getting up off the bed and looking down at her. I wasn't sure why she was moving further away from me again- especially after the day that we had.

"No, thanks though," she said, trying to smile through her tears, but failing. I am not sure why, but she seemed to cry harder at the mere mention of my offer of help.

I backed out of the room and made my way to the living room to change, sitting on the futon and feeling helpless.

That night I was sleeping- as best as I could for the situation at hand- when I was interrupted by a small hand on my arm.

"Austin? Austin?" came a whispered voice close to my ear. I turned towards it, and through the moonlight from the balcony door, I could see the outline of Ally at the side of my futon-bed.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice muffled from the blankets. I moved all covers from the top half of my body and sat up.

"I know this is weird, but I'm having trouble sleeping. Can I just sit here with you for a little while?" she asked, her voice full of tears. I twisted my body so that I could reach the lamp on the end table, and I switched it on.

"Of course you can. Here," I said, holding up the blankets for her to slip under. She did so, gingerly, being sure not to come into contact with me. "Do you want to talk, or-"

"No. I'd just like to sit here. Sitting in my room just makes me feel more miserable," she whispered, keeping her gaze from mine.

"I get that. We can sit here for as long as you'd like," I said, crossing my legs in front of me.

We sat there like that for hours- I watched the clock shift from 2 am to 4:30 am, before her head started lolling to the side. The closer she got to sleep, the closer her body scooted to mine. I didn't protest- this is what I wanted, after all.

We were almost in the same position as the night before, with her leaning on me and me leaning on the side of the couch, when she looked up at me through half-lidded eyes.

"I want a good night's sleep again."

It took me a moment to realize exactly what she meant, but when I clued in, my heart soared. I nodded silently down at her, reached my arm back to turn off the light, and re-shifted our bodies into a comfortable sleeping position.

I thought she had fallen asleep when she spoke again, causing me to awaken again, fully.

"I still have issues with you, and they are going to take a long time and a lot of trust building to change them. But, for some reason, I slept better with you last night than I had since even before things blew up with my mum. And I need sleep for a clear mind. So, this is why I'm back tonight," she said simply. She didn't shift her head to meet my gaze again; she didn't shift her body at all.

But it didn't take away from what she said. Because it gave me hope. And, hope dies last, after all…

**That was then  
This is now  
Took some time to come around  
All I wanna do  
Is try again**

_-Jesse McCartney, That Was Then_

a/n: Thanks for all of the lovely reviews :)

-Kali xo.


	7. 6

"Honey! I'm home!" Dez exclaimed, throwing open the door to the apartment after midnight on Friday, and holding his arms out wide.

"How was work?" Trish asked, not even looking up from one of her textbooks. I looked at her, shocked. Just that afternoon, Trish had been all anxious for Dez to get home and now she was acting like she didn't miss him at all.

"Exhausting. They had me running around like a mad man – fetching coffees and film supplies. But the director asked me some questions about what he was working on. I was really excited about that," he smiled, coming to sit next to Trish and grabbing her feet.

"What are you doing?" she mumbled, her eyes never leaving the page.

"I'm going to rub your feet. Last time you had a test for that class, I rubbed your feet while you were studying and it completely relaxed you. You ended up acing the test. Let's see if it'll happen again," he shrugged. That caught Trish's attention.

"I've missed you so much, babe. I know I seem really cold right now- I'm just worried about this test. There's a scholarship open to the highest grade in the class and I could really use that money for next semester, you know?" she reached up to kiss him and I decided that was my cue to leave and give them privacy.

I ran into Ally in the hallway outside of the apartment.

"Hey!" I said, holding open the door for her.

"You heading out so late?" she asked, looking into the apartment and shaking her head. I let the door fall closed.

"You heading in so late?" I asked, leaning against the hallway wall. She mirrored my image, leaning facing me.

"I met my dad for coffee. He wanted to talk things through and make sure I was alright. My dad's always made me feel better when I'm feeling bad" she said, smiling. My heart soared at the sight of her beaming face.

"That's good. I'm going for a drive, trying to write a new song. I have my gig coming up soon and I have no new material," I said, looking down at my feet. I wasn't sure how to talk about these things with Ally anymore- was it a sore subject?

"I'm sure you'll come up with something soon. I heard you in the shower this morning," she said, her voice gentle and not at all strained. I looked back up at her.

"You heard that? It was just me fooling around-"

"It was good. I liked it," she nodded.

"Thanks!" We stood there, facing each other and completely silent for a little while before I made a move to leave. "Well, I should get going. Trish was saying something this afternoon about Dez having plans for the four of us tomorrow so I don't want to be out too late."

"Alright, see you later," she waved. I almost stopped at her words, wondering what she meant by that. Would she be coming to my futon again that night, as she had for three nights now?

I shook my head and left. I wasn't going to think about it.

"The beach?" I asked the next day, staring at Dez in his swim trunks, standing in front of me excited. "Your big idea is for all of us to go to the beach? You do realize that we live in Miami, right? And that we can go to the beach any day?" I was eating lunch- chicken hot dogs right out of the package.

"Yes, but when was the last time we all went down there, together?" he asked, grabbing a wiener out of the pack.

I thought to myself and realized he was right.

"Besides, I thought we could all go out to dinner afterwards- a nice, sit down eatery where the four of us can sit and laugh. And, if we leave around dinnertime to go to the beach, like I suggested, by the time we hit a restaurant, it'll be later. So there will be less patrons."

The more I thought about his plan, the more I liked it.

"Actually, this sounds awesome. I'm in!" I announced.

"Not like you had an actual choice in the matter," Trish laughed.

"Just because you get front seat, does not mean you get to choose the music!" Trish squealed at me.

"It actually does. And we're not jamming out to Taylor Swift with the windows down. The windows are tinted! How lame do you think it will look if two dudes are driving down the highway blaring chick music?" I asked, throwing in a mix CD I'd spent the day making.

We decided to go to a beach further than we would have normally- we wanted this day to be an adventure. We had a little bit of a drive ahead of us, and I figured we'd need a nice soundtrack.

As soon as the first song came on, I knew I had Ally.

"I love this song!" she whooped, dancing around in her seat. The speakers blasted out the melody of a Mariana's Trench song, and the four of us sang along to the words we knew.

The ride there was fun- no speaking, just enjoying the music and the warm breeze blowing through our hair.

When Dez pulled onto the pier, Trish looked around, confused.

"Why are we on the pier? Aren't we swimming?" she asked, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the car door.

"Yep. But we're jumping into the water," Dez said, slipping out of his shoes.

"There are signs everywhere that says it's prohibited to jump off the pier!" Ally said. I looked over to where she stood with her arms wrapped around her small frame. She looked scared.

"Live a little, Als," I said to her, taking off my shirt and making a running start at the side of the pier.

"Be careful!" I heard her yell as I soared up in the air. It made me smile before I hit the water. Beneath the surface was quiet, and I floated at the bottom, with the soles of my feet skimming the sand at the floor of the ocean. The water was surprisingly warm, and I allowed it to envelope my body in comfort.

As I broke the surface, I heard laughter and the sounds of the beach came back.

"Just jump!" I heard Dez from beside me. I looked over to my friend, treading water just a foot or so away from me, looking up at Trish and Ally, who were holding hands and looking down at us, in fear.

"Is it deep?" Trish asked, leaning forward and being pulled back by Ally before she fell in.

"Not too deep," I reassured her. "I could probably stand, but the water would be over my head by a couple of inches."

"It's so nice in here, Trish. Just jump already!" Dez laughed, swimming over to me. "They're such wimps," he said, under his breath. I nodded in agreement.

"Okay, on the count of three!" Ally shrieked. The two girls did the countdown, bending their knees on ONE, seemingly ready to jump, but neither did. Instead, they almost collapsed in giggles.

"C'mon!" I said, fighting the laughs myself. "Once you jump, you'll realize how silly you two are being!" Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the ladder leading back up to the pier. I swam towards it.

"What are you doing?" Ally asked, walking towards where the ladder came up.

"I'm coming up to jump in again," I said, my body instantly shivering as it exited the warm water. "I'll jump with you guys."

I lined up with the girls, me in the middle, and turned to each of them in turn. "We're actually doing it this time. We are going to hold hands, and not let go. Then we're going to jump. And we all know that I'm not going to chicken out because I've done this once before. So, Dez, start the countdown. Give us five!"

The two girls grabbed a hold of my hands, Trish on my left and Ally on my right. The feeling of Ally's soft hand in mine was comforting. I squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE!" Dez started the countdown, slapping the water, open-palmed, on each number. I could hear the girls' fear beside me, the deep, steadying breaths and the little squeals of excitement. "TWO! ONE!" And on that note, I jumped and pulled the girls behind me.

Somewhere in the air, Trish pulled her hand free from mine. But Ally did the complete opposite- she held on for dear life. She finally let go of my hand when we resurfaced, looking over to me and smiling.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked, shaking the water out of my hair.

"You made it easier," she whispered, making her way over to Trish and Dez, who were a couple feet away and splashing each other. I treaded water, thinking about this, but shook my head, letting it go. I followed Ally.

"Let's swim all the way over to the beach!" Trish suggested, trying to dunk Dez under the water.

"But we're past the buoys!" Ally laughed, swimming ahead despite her protests.

"We can make it there. C'mon, let's race!" Trish said, ignoring Dez and swimming after Ally. Dez and I held back.

"You and Ally seem to be getting along," Dez whispered to me, making sure his voice didn't carry over to the girls.

"Yeah, really well. I'm hoping we can get back to where we used to be. Or, at the very least, somewhere close," I replied.

"Trish told me about your sleeping arrangement," Dez said, smirking over to me. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not what you think. It's kind of personal, but it's definitely not what you're thinking," I laughed, shaking my head.

"Yeah, I didn't think it'd be of the physical nature- not yet, anyways," he said, splashing some water at me. "C'mon. Ten bucks says we beat the girls."

"Definitely!" I agreed, swimming faster. Dez followed suit.

"Hey! Where did you guys come from?" Trish asked, almost out of breath, as we swam past them, leisurely.

"You're not going to beat us!" Ally cried out, her competitiveness coming through. She sped up.

"Yeah!" Trish said. Dez pulled her foot, dragging her back and giving Ally and I the lead. "Hey!" she giggled, allowing herself to be dragged into his embrace.

"Want to make this more interesting?" Ally asked me, coming up to my side.

"Sure," I said, pulling myself ahead of her. She laughed.

"Whoever makes it there first, gets their dinner bought by the loser," she said, simply. She kicked harder with her little feet and met my distance.

"Deal," I said. I smiled to myself- I had long arms and longer legs- I could win this so easy. I could already see Ally struggling.

But then I thought about it and slowed down a bit. Buying Ally dinner would be nice- even if it was only because of a win.

When we got to the shore and she beat me, I could feel the excitement coming off of her. But I knew I had to play this smart.

"Wait! Wait, that is not fair!" I yelled out, breathing harder than I needed to.

"How so?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and laughing.

"I got a cramp- that's why I lost!" I said, sitting down on the shore and holding my side- which felt perfectly fine.

"You're such a sore loser!" Ally said, crawling up beside me and laughing. "I won, fair and square. You're buying me dinner tonight."

"Fine! Fine, I guess I am," I said, shaking my head in shame, but smiling at her nonetheless.

"What's going on?" asked Dez, running up the waves to meet us and collapse at our side.

"We raced to the shore. Ally won and now I have to buy her dinner," I said, squishing the sand with my toes.

"But you're a phenomenal swimmer!" Dez protested. He looked at me and I could tell by that look that he knew something was up.

"He got a cramp," Ally said, finding this hilarious. I flicked sand at her. "HEY!" she said, grabbing a handful of it and throwing it my way.

This started an all-out war between the three of us on the shore, and chunks of wet sand hit us on the backs and stomachs, got stuck in our hair- a chunk from Ally even landed in Dez's mouth.

When Trish finally made her way over to us, we decided to attack her. She got hit three times in the legs, taking her down and causing the rest of us to run over to her, splashing each other in the process.

The rest of the evening went like that- just attacking each other with water and sand, laughing and teasing.

We decided to walk back to the vehicle on the pier. When we got to the van and were drying ourselves off the best that we could- none of us brought extra clothes- I heard Ally singing to herself, towelling her hair.

Cause I am cried out

Can't you hear me?

Falling out, I'm all gone

Stupid mistakes.

Gonna get you back-

Whatever it takes…

Remembering 'bout way back then,

Hoping now to begin again.

"Are you singing-" I started, flipping her towel up to look into her face.

"Yeah, the song you are working on. It's stuck in my head!" she said, blushing a little bit. "It's so catchy!" she said, defensively.

"You're writing a new song?" Trish asked, slipping into the vehicle and trying to subtly change out my CD with Taylor Swift's latest.

"Yes, I am. It's a work in progress, but I think it's good. And don't think I don't see you putting in your CD!" I said, shaking my head.

"That's exciting news!" Dez exclaimed, sliding behind the wheel. I jumped in the car too, Ally hopping into the seat behind me. I could see her in my rear view mirror, her face still reddened from getting caught.

"Where are we going to eat?" Dez asked, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes.

"Some old diner on the side of the road. They always have the best food!" Ally suggested. We all nodded in agreement.

"I could really go for a milkshake," I said, still looking in that rear view mirror.

"I could really go for any food, in general. All that swimming made me hungry!" Dez laughed.

"Me too!" Trish yawned. "And tired!"

"Should we get food to go?" I suggested. I was afraid that Dez's idea to sit down and eat would be ruined, but we were all obviously tired.

"That's actually not a bad plan at all. I bought a new movie while I was in Orlando. We can all go in, get our food, and eat on the way home. Then we can watch the film and crash at home," he said. I was glad he wasn't angry.

"Turn up the song. I love this one!" Trish screamed, suddenly. I turned around in my seat to give her a funny look, but reached over to turn it up anyways. It was 'Long Live' and I nodded along to the beat.

The girls screamed the lyrics forward at Dez and I, and we smirked at each other in amusement.

It was an amazing night- the perfect end to the perfect evening. The stars were out and there was a chill in the air that caused the hairs on my arms to stand on end.

Looking into the rear view mirror, Ally looked as happy as I had seen her thus far. Her head was thrown back in laughter and her cheeks were red from the loud singing. She caught my eye and smiled at me- genuinely. My fingers tingled.

I had faith that things were finally looking up. And when I finally got that strawberry milkshake I was craving, I didn't think the world could be even more on my side than in that moment.

**Allow it all to fade away  
We can move on  
Looking in the rear view mirror  
Wave goodbye  
C'mon we're leaving everything behind**

_-Jesse McCartney, We Can Go Anywhere_

a/n: You guys are awesome :) Thanks for the lovely reviews!

-Kali xo.

P.S. – Lyric credits go out to **HG Just Because** for the song that's stuck in Ally's head.


	8. 7

Over the next couple of weeks, things with Ally and I seemed to get even better- there was very little tension and I could see her walls breaking down, ever so slowly.

"Austin! That's my blanket!" she screeched, giggling and pulling the blanket that I had a strong grip on.

"There's no more towels though- Trish has been too busy to do laundry. And unless you want me to walk around and air dry…" I chuckled, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. She let go right away, the release of her hold on the blanket almost sending me on my butt.

"There has to be at least one towel or something you can use. I'm not letting you dry off with the blanket that I sleep with," she said, making her way towards the hallway cupboard, a faint blush on her cheeks.

I smirked at that. There was something about her reaction that elated me greatly.

"I've checked. All there is left is-"

"Here, use this," she said, holding up…

"-a hand towel," I finished. This made me laugh out loud, and I leaned against the wall for support. "Let me get this straight. You want me to waltz out of that bathroom in a hand towel? It won't cover much," I whispered, smirk still in place. Her blush deepened.

"Use it to dry off. Change in the bathroom. While you're in there, I'll collect the dirty laundry and together, we'll do a couple of loads before Trish and Dez get home. Hurry up, because I'm not waiting forever and I'm not doing this by myself," she said, her voice breathy. Her eyes would not look at my face.

"Okay," I said, shrugging, still grinning.

"How do you have so much dirty laundry? You're worse than a girl!" Ally exclaimed, looking at my heap of clothes with the hint of a smile on her face. She seemed to have recovered from the towel-talk and now allowed herself to meet my gaze.

"Me? What about you? Your pile is just as big!" I protested, sorting mine into colours and whites.

"But I am a girl!" Ally explained, shrugging. She started sorting through hers as well, throwing her own clothes into my piles, on top of my laundry. But she was making three piles.

"What's that one for?" I asked, trying hard not to stare at the black lace bra at my feet, lying on top of my favourite t shirt. God, it looked good there…

"Brights. I usually separate my laundry into three piles: whites, brights, and darks. Why? How do you do yours?" she asked, flinging another bra my way. How was she not blushing at this?

"Colours and whites. Is that wrong?" I asked, finishing up my mound of dirty clothes and moving onto Trish's and Dez's.

"No, it's just preference, I think. Here, let me help you with that," she answered, coming up next to me. Her bra strap had fallen off her shoulder, peeking out from her tank top, and my eyes flicked over to the black one again.

We had sorted through the clothes in no time, opting for Ally's way instead (our entire laundry pile was so big, three loads made it much easier). Ally took over Trish's pile and I took Dez's, and then I sorted the towels.

"They're lucky that their laundry facilities are nice in this building," Ally said, throwing the detergent in and pushing the appropriate settings.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, in New York, my mom's building had the crappiest machines ever- they ate your cash and there was no guarantee that they would work. I usually just ended up dragging my laundry a block over to the laundry mat and spent my Sunday afternoons there, reading and writing in my book," she shrugged, pulling two chairs over to a little table and planting herself into one. I took the other.

"That must have sucked in the winter," I said, shuffling a random deck of cards. "Crazy eights?" I asked, indicating the cards. She smiled.

"Sure," she said, shifting in her seat and sliding her left leg under her. "It was not ideal," she went on, answering my question. "When the temperature dropped, I dreaded walking anywhere in the city. But, it was a nice opportunity to be an anonymous New Yorker."

"You still have your book?" I asked, remembering her mentioning it earlier. I dealt the cards and smiled at memories of the book.

"I've moved onto a new one. I had a lot to write about while in New York," she said, glancing at her cards and frowning. When she caught the look on my face (I must have looked guilty), she rolled her eyes and laughed. "What I meant was that I had a lot to write about because of my new life in New York."

I sighed deeply, relieved. "Good."

Later on that day, after the laundry was done and Ally and I had eaten, I turned to her and said, "I need to go to the music store to pick up some guitar picks for this week's gig. Did you want to come?"

I could see the battle going on in her head- the idea of music and me in the same place. She surprised me when she nodded and said, "Sure, let me just grab my purse."

I was wandering around, looking for the guitar picks I preferred and trying not to touch every instrument in reach, when I heard the opening piano chords to a very familiar song. I made my way to the middle of the store, and there was Ally, completely caught up in a moment.

**Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time**

I sat down beside her on the piano bench, but she didn't even acknowledge my presence. It was almost as if she was in a trance and didn't know where she was or what she was doing.

All that mattered was that song.

**It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now**

When she finished, she took a deep, shaky breath.

"What was that?" I asked her. She jumped, seeming to just realize I was sitting there. I smiled at her.

She did not smile back.

"When I first got to New York," she started, her voice low and her eyes focussed on her fingers still splayed on the piano keys, "I was caught up in the fast-paced life. I used it to keep myself busy- to keep myself from thinking about you. I enrolled in school and was given a tour on a Saturday, when the school was closed and pretty much empty. This emptiness filled me with dread and I wandered away from my mom and the guidance counsellor who was giving us the tour. They were too busy discussing transfer credits to really pay much attention to me, so I wandered off. They didn't even notice me leave." Her fingers traced the ghost of a pattern over the keys and she sighed deeply.

"I found myself in a room full of pianos, much like this area of the store. And the radio was on- a janitor must have forgotten to turn it off. The song playing was faintly familiar to me, but sitting in that room, the lyrics and melody tore at my heart. The song spoke to that part of me I had been running from. The part that missed you.

"From that moment on, playing that song was the only opportunity I gave myself to sing about you. Listening to that song during my weakest points was the only time I caught myself starting to text you or call you; write songs about how much you'd broken my heart.

"The rest of the time, I pretended you didn't exist. But during that song, I just couldn't. I couldn't."

Her fingers slipped from the keys and her shoulders slumped forward. I thought that maybe she'd been crying, but I didn't know how to react.

Ally had spent the past three years pretending that I didn't exist. I had spent those moments regretting my choice to let her go. I don't think I could have pretended her non-existence, even if I'd tried.

"The first time I'd heard that song," I said, my voice sounding cracked and broken, even to my own ears, "I thought of nothing but you. It drove Cassidy crazy because I would play the first verse during the downtimes of our writing sessions. She'd see the faraway look on my face and the pain in the lines of my mouth and storm off. She knew I was thinking of you."

Ally turned her head to look at me and I was both shocked and relieved to see that she had not, in fact, been crying. She just looked lost and confused.

"That song, eh?" she said, smiling. I could tell that she was joking, trying to lighten the mood and unsure of how to react to my confession.

"Do you think people get that from our songs?" I asked, playing with some of the keys and avoiding her gaze. I didn't know why.

"I'd like to think so. I'd also like to think that now that we're more mature, our songs would effect people deeper. You know, if we were to write songs together again," she answered, her voice very low.

After a beat, I replied: "Do you ever think we'll write together again?"

Her body froze and I could feel the tension growing from her, almost powerful enough to push me off of the piano bench.

"No."

That single word response hit me like a ton of bricks, deflating any sense of hope left within me. But I nodded, accepting this. I should have known better anyways.

"I'm ready to leave if you are," she said, her voice gentler than I expected it to be. She slid off the bench and made her way to the door of the store, not looking back.

I continued to sit there on the bench, haunted by the sweet sound of her voice singing the line **Yes, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all**.

Feeling nothing would actually be kind of nice, right about now.

**Has anybody ever felt this way?  
Has anybody been ripped apart?  
Anybody give everything to the one they love…  
Am I the only one left behind?  
Am I the only one who hates goodbyes?  
God I know this can't go on forever…**

-_Jesse McCartney, Anybody_

a/n: It took me forever and five years to come up with the first half of this chapter. I have the rest of this story set up and planned, so waits should be way less than what they've been.

The song Austin and Ally used to describe how they felt, apart, was Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. And I don't own Austin and Ally (if I did, Austin would stop hinting at liking Ally and kiss her already).

-Kali xo.

P.S. Thanks for all of the reviews- you guys are amazing :)


	9. 8

A week later, still feeling like crap about our exchange in the music store, I was walking into the apartment when I took pause. Something was wrong.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob, leaning towards the screaming coming from inside.

"It was nothing! I swear, she must have just gotten the wrong idea-"

"GIRLS DON'T JUST GET THE WRONG IDEA!"

"- when we were on that trip a couple of weeks ago!"

My heart thundered against my ribs and I closed my eyes. Trish and Dez's fights were never good- ever! They both said things they regretted, usually Trish first, and they both made promises neither of them would ever keep.

"THREE TEXT MESSAGES! AND YOU DIDN'T DELETE ANY OF THEM!"

"Yeah, but I never replied to any of them either!" Dez said, and I could hear the panic in his voice.

The logic in me wanted to turn around and walk away, to let them fight it out. But the friend in me knew that one of them would need me immediately and I didn't want to leave them hanging.

Summoning up my courage, I turned the knob and walked in. Thankfully, neither of them seemed to take notice of me. But someone else did.

Ally's head poked up from where she was huddled on the balcony, the blinds wide open. She looked as freaked out as I felt.

Without interrupting the fight going on in the living room, I made my way out to the balcony, shutting the door tight behind me.

"They've been at it for an hour now," Ally moaned, playing with a lock of hair and looking upset.

"What exactly are they fighting about?" I asked, sitting down beside her on the bench and pulling my own knees up.

"Trish borrowed Dez's phone because her phone was dead, and as she was dialling her mother's number, he received a text message from some girl named-"

"Let me guess, Tabitha?" I asked, rolling my eyes and groaning inwardly. I should have known.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Ally asked, looking over to me, eyebrows raised.

"Because she's been bugging him since his internship started. And after they were roomed across the hall from each other during the trip a couple of weeks back, she has been messaging him non-stop about this supposed elevator trip they took. The girl sounds like a nut."

"I knew it!" Ally exclaimed, dropping her knees and shaking her head.

"Knew what?" I asked, turning around the face her, confused about her reaction.

"I knew that Dez wasn't cheating on Trish!"

"You doubted him?" I asked, incredulous.

"Of course I didn't. But you have to admit, if you hadn't have known about Tabitha, you would have been a little suspicious of those messages," Ally said, crossing her arms defensively.

"No I wouldn't have! Dez is not the kind of guy to cheat- he loves Trish," I said, my voice rising in volume. I could not believe what I was hearing.

"That's true," Ally said, sounding defeated. "I think my faith in people is just a little low right now. But, you're right. Dez would never, EVER do that to Trish."

My chest stopped heaving and I turned back to facing forward, dropping my knees.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump down your throat there. I just couldn't believe what you were saying," I mumbled. Ally nodded and looked back over to our friends, who were still yelling at each other. Their voices were muffled from the balcony window separating us, but I could still catch snippets of their conversation.

"If I wanted someone else, I would choose someone less annoying than Tabitha!" Dez yelled, and I winced. That was definitely not the thing to say.

"SO YOU DO WANT SOMEONE ELSE, THEN?"

"NO! Oh my God, Trish! Why aren't you listening to me?"

"How long do you think they'll fight?" Ally asked me, yawning and stretching on the bench beside me.

"Usually they fight for a couple of hours, until Trish gets tired and goes to bed. And then Dez sleeps on the couch and they ignore each other for a couple of days until one of them gives in and talks to the other," I said, feeling the fatigue from the day ease in.

I had decided that today was the day to find another gig, because one gig a week was not paying the rent. I had driven around Miami and the surrounding cities, walked from bar to bar on foot to save gas money, and spoken to what felt like a hundred different owners of these establishments. I got one gig for the following night, but it was a one night thing. One gig in ten hours.

"That's sad," Ally said, her voice soft and sad.

"Yeah. But my mum once told me that the couples that stay together are the ones that fight. Everything gets out in the open and things are discussed. Nothing is kept hidden inside and resentment is rare," I said, biting my thumbnail and avoiding the scene before me.

"I've never heard that before. But, it makes sense. When I was little, before my parents divorced, there would be these evenings full of silence. Nothing but the sound of the television or the radio. My parents hardly ever spoke," she replied, hugging her knees to her chest again and laying her head down on them.

Without thinking, I reached over and lay my arm on her shoulders, a movement of comfort. She didn't shrink away and so I kept it there.

"We gonna stay out here all night?" I asked, leaning back and closing my eyes. Boy, was I tired.

"We're going to stay until they're done fighting."

"Sounds fun," I mumbled, feeling myself drifting.

"Do you think they will need us at any point in the evening?" Ally asked, standing up suddenly. She stretched out and started pacing.

"Sometimes Trish needs to talk after and comes to me for support. I think it's just to make sure that, if anything serious really did happen between her and Dez, I wouldn't automatically take his side, just because we were friends first," I answered, standing up as well. I thought that this might help me wake up a little bit.

"What about Dez?" Ally asked, leaning against the rail and looking out at the Miami night. I came to stand next to her.

"He's usually the type to figure it out on his own," I shrugged, looking back at our friends. They were sitting in silence, looking at each other, anger still evident in their eyes.

"I can't believe that I've left you here to deal with this for as long as I did," she mumbled, playing with that same lock of hair from before. I took it from her fingers and looked down at her, serious.

"I would never have expected you to," I whispered. "Look, we have a lot to talk about, and we will. But for tonight, let's just be there for our friends." She nodded and smiled up at me and I felt like what happened in that music store a week or so ago didn't hurt us at all.

In fact, it probably helped us.

It was three hours, and many games of I Spy and Choose later, that Ally and I allowed ourselves back into the apartment. Trish had gone to bed, as predicted, and Dez had crashed on the futon, obviously exhausted after the fight.

"I'm going to bed," Ally yawned, dragging herself throughout the hallway and into her room. She had barely crossed the threshold when she came right back out and looked at me, hand on hip and eyebrow raised. "Where are you going to sleep if Dez is sleeping on your futon?" she asked, looking over to where Dez was laying, sprawled out and a frown on his face.

"Oh, I'll cuddle up beside him," I said, face straight. She smiled, and then looked shocked, until I burst out laughing. "Nah, I'll grab the chair. It's surprisingly comfortable," I lied. That thing was hell on my back, but I could easily give up the comfort of a night's sleep for a friend in need.

After she finished laughing, she walked off to bed and I grabbed a blanket and took the chair. Even with the weird angle my body fit itself into on the faux leather arm chair, I was so tired that I fell asleep instantly.

My bladder woke me up just a couple of hours later, screaming for the washroom, so I grudgingly unfolded myself from the chair and winced with each step over to my destination. I was walking down the dark hallway towards the washroom, cursing the ill-placed cupboard in the middle of the hallway that I was bound to stub my toe on, when I walked into something else.

"Oof!" came a small voice from next to me, and I squinted in the moonlight to try to see who I'd bumped into.

"Ally?" I asked, looking down at her small frame, my eyes finally adjusting to the dark. I could see her hair, stacked on top of her head in a bun, her small arms wrapped around herself.

"Sorry…" she mumbled, backing herself into the wall. I chuckled softly.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my bladder somehow forgotten.

"I needed to use the washroom," she whispered, shrugging. I nodded, and then realized that she probably couldn't see me.

"Me too."

"I usually need to go at this time of night. Either now, or in about an hour. But always halfway through my sleep-" she was just blabbering on and on, something I knew she did when she was nervous. And there was something about how she looked there, with only the moonlight playing off her features. Between that and my fatigue, my head went a little foggy and before I knew it, my lips were on hers.

I pulled her against me, my hands on her hips and was delighted when she deepened the kiss, placing her small hands on my shoulders to pull herself up to my height.

The feeling of her lips on mine and the taste of her strawberry chapstick caused my head to reel and I pushed her into the doorframe and steadied myself with a hand on it, right beside her head. When her tongue darted out to meet mine, I felt my knees buckle and I tightened my hold on the frame to steady myself.

Giggling, Ally broke the kiss and looked up at me, "What just happened there?" she asked, fingering the hem of my tee shirt.

"What do you mean?" I asked, breathless. Thinking that she meant my pathetic knee-buckling, I stood a bit straighter and tried to compose myself.

"The kiss," she replied, whispering and now not meeting my eyes. My heart rate increased as I realized that she might be regretting it and I scrambled to save the situation.

"It felt right…"

She looked up at me then, and I could see the war in her eyes. I smiled down at her and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Unknowingly, her face turned into my palm.

Before she could overthink it, I bent down and kissed her again, cupping her face and pouring myself into it. Just like the first time, Ally kissed back. A little hum sounded from her throat and it caused my heart to swell. As well as other parts of me…

I stopped the kiss before something happened that we'd both regret.

"As much as I don't want to, I think we should stop and go to sleep," I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers and struggling not to cover her mouth with mine again.

She nodded, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of my neck. It felt so good. She made a move to go back into her bedroom when I started to chuckle softly.

"Don't you need to use the washroom?" I asked, leaning against the doorframe. She looked up at me and brought her thumb to her lips, biting the nail.

"I didn't need to use the washroom," she admitted. When I gave her a questioning look, she sat down on the bed and I came to sit beside her. "I don't know if it was the fight or what, but I couldn't get to sleep. Even though I'm exhausted, I couldn't shut my brain off."

"So you were going…?" I asked, a little confused.

"I was coming to ask you if I could sleep with you again. I was halfway to remembering the fact that you were sleeping on the chair, when I ran straight into you."

When she looked up to see my reaction, I noticed the uneasiness in the lines around her eyes. That kiss, as wonderful as it was, just made everything very messy.

"We can still sleep, you know," I said, trying to reassure the both of us. Ally shook her head.

"I don't think I can, Austin. I'll just want to kiss you again," she sighed deeply. My heart skipped a beat at her words- she wanted to kiss me again!

I nodded, completely understanding how she felt. Getting up, I walked to the doorway and stopped. "Good night, Als. I hope you get some sleep," I whispered, watching her crawl into bed. She smiled at me as I closed the door, leaving it open ajar.

I used the washroom, washed my hands, and came to stand outside her bedroom door. My heart was still not beating normally and my fingers had gone numb from all of their tingling.

Finally, I came to a conclusion and barrelled through with my decision.

When I came up to lie behind her, wrapping the blanket around the two of us, she didn't question me. I slung an arm over her waist and pulled her back to my front, craving the heat from her body.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her voice muffled from the pillow. "I guess I need you to sleep." Her voice was heavy with sleep and I smiled to myself.

Burying my face into the crook of her neck and finding her hand under the blanket, I locked her fingers with my own. "I need you too," I whispered, already feeling myself slipping into a dreamstate.

a/n: Sorry. This has taken me way longer than expected. I have no excuses, but I'm back into my writing, so the next wait will be way less.

-Kali xo.


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